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I have a new job!

This morning I was officially offered a new job.  It's completely different from what I've been doing, so I'm both excited and terrified.  I'm going to give my notice on Monday, and then count down the days until the new adventure begins!

I will miss a lot of the people I work with.  They're the ones who have made the past almost year bearable.  But I honestly cannot stand what I am doing, and all attempts I've made to change positions have fallen on deaf ears.

So...

The first step has been taken.  Now all I have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other!

Wish me luck!

Feeling old

I'm so sorry I didn't respond to the comments on my last post.  I honestly thought I had, and then when I went to post today, I realized that I had only thought I had.  I promise to be better.

Not really a lot to report.  I've been feeling pretty crummy the past few weeks.  First with a migraine that lasted a week, and now my RA is flaring.  My feet feel like I've been walking all day, every day for a week.  My toes are swollen, and my ankles, and my hands and wrists.  Ugh.  I feel like that blueberry girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Can't I just be juiced so I can move freely again?

There is an antigue show tomorrow I'm going to, which I'm looking forward to.  Last time I went to it, they had a cookbook from WWII that had all kinds of wonderful recipes.  I wasn't able to aford it then, but maybe I'll find a little something tomorrow that won't cost a lot.

Also, my depression has eased up somewhat.  No matter how long I've been fighting it, I stil don't alway recognize when I'm in a bad spell.  I feel like I'm finally coming up for air after being held underwater.  It's kind of nice to be reading and writing and little bit again.

I'm going to see a movie this weekend. I'm leaning toward Ghostbusters, but that may change.  The BFG and Star Trek are also possibilities.  I saw the Secret Life of Pets with my mom and friend last week.  It was cute!

Take care all.
Woke up with a migraine this morning, decided to say fuck it and called in sick.  I'm tired and achy and my head hurts.

Besides which, it's raining outside, so I'm going to sit in a dark room and just listen to the rain for a while.  And drink lots of tea.

Hope everyone is doing well today. 

Happy 4th of July!

It's so lovely having a three day weekend.  I've been reading a lot, watching TV, and spending time with family.  My battle with the weeds in the backyard has reached an epic new phase, where I'm seriously considering salting the earth to get rid of them.  I never realized before how many damned weeds there are!

The puppies have been the joy and bane of my existance, as usual.  They tore the screen door, so until I can get it fixed, they have their own doggy door.  Oh, well.  I'm usually running the AC anyway.

Poor Honey isn't handling the fireworks very well.  She's the puppy.  Last year she was only a little over two weeks old on the 4th. This year she spends most of the night huddled next to me, panting and shivering.  I feel bad that I can't really do much for her other than pet her and talk softly to her.  Once the fireworks die down, she's fine.

Mrs. Hudson just goes in her kennel and sleeps.  She's very zen about it all.  Same with Colonel.  He's an old man, now, and just curls up on the bed and sleeps.

Saw Finding Dory with my mom and her best friend yesterday.   Very cute movie.  I was rather astonished to find out neither had seen FInding Nemo.  I'm going to have to educate them!

Not really much else going on.   I'll try to post some pictures of the back yard later, to show the changes I've made since I bought the house and now.  If I can just get rid of those damn weeds!!

Waves

Today was a really hard day.  There wasn't really any one thing, it was just a lot of really cranky people taking out their pain and frustration on me.  It wears me down.  I really have to find a new job, because I don't think I can handle many more days like this.

Money is incredibly tight right now.  I'm hoping that by the end of June I'll be caught up on the house, and will then be able to file the bankruptcy.  I just want it to be taken care of.  I'm so damn tired all the time.

My mom has been incredible, and helped me out with food.  She gave me a lot of canned vegatables from her pantry, and some stuff to make soup.  I can't thank her enough.  Because of that, I won't be stuck eating eggs and rice for the month.

I can't wait for the weekend.   I need to just relax and calm down.  I'm so stressed that my RA is flaring, which just makes me more tired and stressed. It's a hateful circle.  I'm hoping to get some reading done, maybe, hopefully, some writing.

I just want to not have to be afraid any more, to be able to stop worrying.

Being an adult is hard.

Waves

Hey, look, it's only been a month since I last posted!

Things are going.  I talked to a lawyer about bankruptcy.  I have to be caught up on my house payments before I can do that, which, yeah, eaiser said than done.  Sigh.  But once that's taken care of, I can go ahead and file.  To file, though, is going to cost me $1350.  I think that's one of the stupidest things.  Like, hello, I'm obviously poor and struggling, or I wouldn't be doing this, but charge me an arm and a leg anyway.  It's OK, I can just limp along.

I'm hoping I can get everything taken care of by July, which means, hopefully, by Christmas it will all be said and done.

I'm still looking for a new job.  I've had a few bites, but they both fell through.  So I just need to keep putting resumes out and hoping for the best.

My back yard is (mostly) finished.  Here's a picture to prove it!

backyard

I have tomato plants and marigolds in my flower box, and carnations.  Still trying to figure out how to get the dogs to stop digging, but I think it looks pretty good.

Nothing else really going on.  Oh, except I wrote a short Sherlock Holmes fic for Holmestice.  It's only 1000 words or so, but it's the first time I've really written anying in a while.  I'm hoping it's just the first of many.

Take care everyone!

Happy birthday, Shirebound!

Happy birthday, dear shirebound!  I'm sorry I'm a bit belated.  I hope you had a wonderful day, with lots of sunshine and hobbits!


(((HUGS)))

It's a birthday!

Happy birthday, dearest nodbear !   I hope your day was a good one!

Hugs!

Home again home again jiggity jig

I have returned!

The trip was wonderful, very busy and fun and just what I needed to feel alive again.  My sister and I got along the whole time, which is amazing.
The first day I was there my plane came in about 1pm.  I had been up about 24 hours, but I was game to staying up until late, so we walked around Picadilly and went to Portabello Road to see some Banksey.  We found a wonderful little cafe called, I think, Coffee Republic, where they had apple chai lattes, only the best thing ever invented! We wandered around some more, then went back to our hotel and watched TV and ate finger food until I pretty much passed out.

Tuesday, we went to the Churchill Museum, the Crime Museum, which was on display from Scotland Yard's Black Museum, and  the Clink, London's oldest prison.  We ate out, and wandered around some more, and by the end of the day got more finger food and camped out at the hotel.  On Wednesday we went to Spittlefield market.  I bought a jacket and some presents, and we ate cake and chocolate and just had fun.

Thursday I went to visit nodbear.  We had  a lot of fun at the Kew Archvies on Friday, where we found some interesting bits about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  Saturday was Hamlet day!  It was amazing, watching Benedict Cumberbatch play Hamlet.  He was so energetic and the time just seemed to slip past.  What an astounding show to see, and with lovely people!

Sunday I headed back to London, where my sister and I saw the 1916 Gillette Sherlock Holmes.  This is the one where the actor asked Doyle if he could make Sherlock Holmes fall in love, and Doyle pretty much told him to do whatever he pleased.  Yay for author consent to make fanfic!  The show was fantastic, with a piano player, violinist and percussionist to accompany the silent film.  It was about 2 hours long with English subtitles, since the version found had the French cards explaining the action.   It was just lovely!

Monday we had manicures and then went to Bletchley Park and saw where Alan Turing worked and the engima code was cracked.  By the time we got back to my sister's place, though, I was starting to get a sore throat.

Tuesday I didn't really do anything but stay inside, becuase I was fighting a stuffy nose, horrible cough and sore throat.

Wednesday I forced myself out to go to the V&A and wander about a bit, and then Thursday I had lunch with my sister one last time and was off.  Oh, how quickly two weeks past!

Iceland was very beautiful and cold, and I think I may have appreciated it more if I wasn't fighting bronchitis.  I'm still not feeling good, and am hoping I am up for work tomorrow.  I'm still coughing and feeling generally like a bus ran over me.  But oh, the trip was worth it!  Such a wonderful holiday, I'm so, so very thankful I went.

Thank you to everyone who helped, with support, encouragement, and financial. I love you all so very much, you are amazing.

Take care, everyone. I'll try to post pictures in a bit.

Getting closer!

I leave for England next Sunday.  One week to go!  I'm both excited and nervous.

Money is still really, really tight.  Even though I called my bank and talked to them about my mortgage, and how I'm having trouble right now, I'm still getting nasty "Pay now or else!" letters.

For the record, I was having trouble before buying the tickets for England.  I've been having trouble ever since I purchased the house.  Everyone says the first few years are always the hardest, but I think it's just that my job doesn't pay me enough for my positiion and that I have too many expenses.  I think when I get back I'm going to have to get a second job again.  I've been looking for a new job, but it has to pay me equivilent or more than what I make now, and those are proving harder to find.

I really am looking forward to seeing my sister, but I'm also anxious becuase I just know she's going to be harping on me about finances.  I'm trying not to let that dampen my vacation.  I want to have fun!  There are a lot of things we can do that don't cost money.  I guess I'm just frustrated.

So, in that spirit, I'm scrapping all my diginity and posting the link to my GoFund me one more time.  I know a lot of people aren't able to give, so if anyone could pass the link around?  It's honestly more about having money to pay the bills when I get back than the trip itself now.  

https://www.gofundme.com/6m2a43zs

Not really a whole lot else to report.  I haven't been able to go out and do anything becuase I've been saving literally every dime and penny for this trip.  But that's all right.  I have cable, and I've been watching a lot of movies.

My computer is a little off, but I'm hoping it just needs to have the dust shaken out of it for it to work properly again.  Fingers crossed.

Take care, everyone!

I never thought I would do this...

But I've created a Go Fund me page.  I'm not expecting much from it, but I figure it can't hurt.  So if anyone can spare a dollar or two, I would much apprecitate it..  Otherwise, good thoughts and prayers are always welcome!

*HUGS*


http://www.gofundme.com/6m2a43zs

Long time gone

I'm probably the worst blogger ever.  I've accepted this.   I do read your journals every day, and try to comment.  But sometimes just existing is about all I'm good for lately.

I think I mentioned that I had adopted a rescue dog several months ago, and she turned up pregnant.  The puppies are 9 weeks old now, and even though they're cute, I can't wait to be back to only one dog.  She had three puppies, all healthy and perfect little monsters.  I've a home for one of them, and possibly the second.  I need to find a home for the little girl.  I'll miss them, but I just don't have the energy for a puppy.  I want my computer room back, and to not have to clean up dog mess all day.

Money is also horribly tight right now. My cable and internet was turned off this morning, since I can't pay the bill until I get paid next week.  A few weeks ago my power was turned off, and a month before my gas.  I'm barely hanging onto things as it is.  Without the help of my mom I would have been screwed several times over.  She doesn't know how bad things are, but the other day I came home to find she had bought me groceries.  I actually started crying, I was so thankful.

I'm so overwhelmed right now, it's rather hard to be positive, but I'm trying.  I was able to purchase my ticket to England, but since round trip was too expensive, I bought a one way and figured I would purchase another one way back.  For some reason, though, the one way back from England is even more expensive than the round trip!  So I'm juggling expenses to try and figure this out.  I still have a mortgage to pay, and bills.  Sigh.

And before anyone suggest I not go, forget it.  This is the one thing that's been keeping me going when all I want to do is curl up and give up. I may not have a lot of money when I go, but I'm looking forward to getting away from my shitty job, to visitng my sister and friends and doing something that isn't confined to my house or work.  I just have to hold out a bit longer, and play adult tetris with my finances.

I think once the last puppy is gone I'll breath a bit easier.  They're a big drain on my finances and energy, even if they are adorable.
Take care, everyone.  I'm thinking of you all.

I'm such a terrible blogger

I'm still alive!  I know it's been forever since I posted.  I kept meaning to, and then I would get home, or go to write, and nothing seemed worth mentioning.  But looking back on the last few months, I realize a lot has happened.

About a month ago my brother's girlfriend, who works as a vet tech, urged me to take a rescue dog home "to try out for the weekend."  One weekend turned into two, then three.  And then we found out this adorable dog was pregnant.   I'm still shaking my head that they hadn't checked before they gave her to me, but oh well.  She's currently staying with another of the vet techs until she has her puppies, then she's coming back to me.  As soon as possible, they're going to spay her.

Colonel, my cat, gets along with her pretty well, in which I mean he sees her and doesn't panic.  Mostly he just tries to avoid her and if she gets in his face he smacks her.

Work goes apace. They hired a new girl to take over referrals, which was what I had been doing the past two months.  Not gonna lie, I want to claw her eyes out half the time.  She's condesending and doesn't listen when I try to explain to her what the process is.  I figure, if she wants to mess of things, then on her head be it.  I'll do my job and give her enough rope to hang herself.

Also, I admit I'm pretty bitter that, after being referral coordinator for 2 months, they took the job away from me without comment. There was no, "Oh, by the way..."  It was just one day this girl showed up and started trying to tell me how to do my job. Ugh.

So, yeah, looking for new work. I'm tired of working for a company that doesn't have the curtesy to communicate with me.  Hopefully something will pop up in the next few months.

The house is doing well, but I'm still a bit bogged under by all the yardwork.  Also, I'm a total goober and forgot to pay the gas bill, so it was turned off yesterday. Now I have to scramble to find out how I'm going to be at home for when they come to turn it back on. I can't tell my mom because I'll get the lecture on how to adult, and I already feel like a dork.  Yes,  I fail at adulting.

In other news I've started to go to the gym again.  I'm trying to get back into shape so that when I go to England in October I'll be able to walk around without trouble.  Right now my legs and hips are bothering me when I walk, which is part being out of shape, part RA.  I figure I have three months to get my butt in gear, so wish me luck!

That's about all I can think of right now.  I'll try and post more later.  I saw Mad Max, and Spy last weekend and loved them both.  Any comments on either? 

Happy Star Wars Day!

May the Fourth be with you!

star wars

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, shirebound!  You're one of the sweetest, kindest, most caring people I know.  Thank you for all you've done, both in fandom and as a friend.

**HUGS**


tumblr_inline_misvq4OWcC1qz4rgp

Gluten free living

I found out a few years ago that eating gluten triggers my migraines, so I try to eat gluten free.  Imagine how happy I was when I went to the store yesterday and saw some gluten free English muffins!

I was so excited this morning when I put them in the toaster.  I was thinking dreamily of light, crunchy Enligh muffins with a touch of butter and jam.

I just took my first bite and these... These are not those English muffins.  I don't know what these are, but they are NOT English muffins.  Maybe English rocks.  Perhaps English cardboard.

Oh, gluten free, you're so evil! 

Jan. 27th, 2015

Thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes. I had a great birthday.

I've been feeling rather sick and run down ever since, though, sigh.  I called my RA doctor today to see about taking some prednisone to see if that will help, as my neck has been so stiff and sore it hurt so even move it.  It's also been contributing to my migraines.  I feel like I'm a rag doll, falling apart at the seams!  Sheesh.

I saw the Hobbit on Saturday and loved it, wonderfully done.  A lovely way to end the trilogy.

Not much else going on, I'm afraid.  I usually come home from work and just crash recently.  Hopefully if they start me on a new medication I'll have more energy again and won't feel sick and tired all the time.  That would be nice.

Hugs you all!

Another year older

Hello, all!

Well, so far my resolve to post more often has been a bit... lacking. Hopefully I'll do better from now on.

Today is my birthday, and even though I have to work (curse you, adulthood!) it's been pretty good so far.  One of my friends got me a Reeses heart, so I've had my chocolate/peanut butter fix lol.

I actually celebrated on Saturday due to everyone's schedules being wackadoodle, but my mom is taking me out for dinner tonight, which will be nice.  Overall, just a nice, quiet day.

Things have been pretty quiet all around. I've been working a lot, then coming home and crashing, as I also haven't been feeling well.  Rather than whine and moan on here about the same old same old, I figure it's best to just leave off. Can't tell if it's the RA or the meds that treat the RA, but I'm a bit tired of being sick and tired.  Oh, well.  It is what it is.

Christmas was lovely, with my sister flying in to surprise my mom and staying for a week.  I finally took my Christmas decorations down on Saturday, so the house is back to boring normal.

What else? I haven't seen the last Hobbit movie, though I'm planning to this Saturday.  I did see the Immitation Game, and loved it.  Benedict Cumberbatch is truly an amazing actor.  I have almost enough saved up to buy my ticket to England, so I'm just waiting until it's a bit closer to Oct to purchase it.  Can't wait to see him in Hamlet!

That's pretty much it on my end.  Hope you all have a great day!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all my friends who celebrate, and to those who don't I hope you have a wonderful day of rest, peace, and love.

Thank you to everyone who sent me a Christmas card. I'm not at home at the moment and don't have the list, but I'll edit later with the names. I'm very thankful to every one of you.

(((HUGS)))

Christmas cards!

Hello, hello, hello!

I know, I'm a bad journaler.   I haven't been around in ages. I'm sorry.  Hopefully this next year I'll be around more, and have a bit more things to say other than, Went to work, came home, played with kitties.  :)

Anyway, if any of you want Christmas cards, leave a comment with your address. I have  a list from previous years, but if you've moved, or if you've friended me recently, you may want to add your name.  I didn't send cards last year, it was too stressful, but this year I'm wanting to get them out.  The comments will be screened.

Love you all!

**Hugs**

Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my US friends at home and abroad, Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope your day is filled with friends, family, love, laughter, and above all, lots of good times and food.

To everyone else for whom today is just a Thursday, I hope your day goes swiftly and well!

Love you all!

Wow, it's been a while!

I know it's been a long while since I last posted.  I guess a lot has happened, and yet it feels like not much has happened at all.

I supposedly got a raise at work, which I'm still waiting to see go through.  nodbear, amazing person that she is, managed to get tickets to next year's Hamlet with Benedict Cumberbatch, so I am planning to fly out across the pond to visit and see that.  I'm really excited, and use that to carry me through whenever things get too down.

My house is coming along fine.  My mom came over the other day and helped me whack the bushes and one particular tree into shape.  It now resembles a yard rather than a jungle.  I'm hoping to post some pictures soon.

Also, I took a second job as a caretaker, to help cover some bills and make things a bit easier.  I don't have very much free time now,  but it's worth it to be able to have a little extra money set aside on payday.

On the downside, two friends of mine are currently in hospital. One with pancreatic cancer, another who suffered a stroke.  The second isn't expected to recover.  I lost a childhood friend a few months ago, to Kidney Cancer.  This year is turning out harder than I thought it would.

I thought I had more to say, but can't really think of anything.  I hope you're all doing well, and I have been following your blogs.  I just don't always have time to reply.  Take care, everyone!

*Hugs*

This too has passed

The state of me.  A lot has happened the past several months, and some of this is rehash, so I'm putting it under a cut to spare your LJs.

Read more...Collapse )

Money makes the world go round

About two months after dad died I received a phone call from one of my aunts, letting me know he had had a life insurance policy.  The only reason we were told was because one of the aunts had tried to claim it, but wasn't listed on it.  My sister, mom, and I were.  So since December we've been fighting with this company trying to get this straightened out.

Finally, the check came the other day.  But only one, and with just my name on it.  So we don't know if my sister is going to get a check as well, or what the hell is going on.  My mom, apparently, isn't getting anything, even though she was listed, because my parents were divorced, which is beyond complete and utter bullshit, but that's a rant for another day.  My brother wasn't listed because my dad got the policy before he was born and never changed it.  The plan now is to just divide the money 4 ways.

It's not a lot of money, a pretty small amount, actually, but it will help all of us, if they company actually does it right and sends us the right amount.  So tomorrow I have to call them up and see if they're sending a second check to my sister.  I am so tired of this.  Why can't it be simple?

Not much going on.  I'm supposed to be starting a new position at work, but have been in limbo for the past two weeks while they figure out what they're doing.  Very frustrating.

I think I just need a very long vacation. 

I'm alive! Really, still here.

I'm not disappeared!  Sorry I kind of vanished after my last post, things got... interesting.

Work has been a roller coaster of ups and downs.  First they got horribly worse after my meeting with HR, in which a large portion of the office treated me like shit, including my boss.  Then they got better, when said boss got transferred to a different department!  Ever since she left, things have been better in many ways, and just as bad in others.

I'm a lot more relaxed now, and even though the gossip and back biting is still just as bad, I'm able to ignore it a bit better, now that it isn't being endorsed by those who have power over me.  Plus, I had a meeting with the big boss on Friday, and from what I could understand, he's going to be moving me into a different position.  I'm hoping this means no more receptionist, and that I can focus on the new work, because that would be awesome, but I may have misunderstood.  I'll know more tomorrow.

Today was rather horrid, in that the AC at work was broke.  We had to reschedule all our cases, for health and safety reasons, so basically I ended up sitting at the front desk for 8 hours, twiddling my thumbs and occasionally answering the phone in a sweltering hot office.  I am so wearing a tank top and shorts tomorrow, since it's not supposed to be fixed until tomorrow afternoon, at the earliest. Ick!

Other than that, things have been pretty boring for me.  I've been feeling pretty lousy physically, mostly due to the medications, so I've been spending a  lot of time sleeping or resting on the couch or reading.  I want to get out and do more stuff around the house, but my shoulders and wrists hurt too much most days, or I feel too sick and dizzy to do much.  I don't want to complain, though. I know there's a lot of people with it so much worse than me, so I'll just continue being boring and catching up on fanfic.

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